Sowing the seeds for a better life

Ayang Aier, Nagaland

Once there were two friends who would go to the beach every morning to play. After playing for few minutes the younger boy would disappear from the scene. This went on for some days. His friend started to wonder and worry. He thought that his friend was no more interested to play with him. One morning, he followed his friend without letting him know. To his amazement, he found his friend struggling to pick and throw starfish which were lying on the beach into the sea. He shouted to his friend “Are you crazy? There are thousands of starfish, so what difference would it make?” The young boy did not reply and continued what he was doing. After sometime, his friend shouted at him “Come on lets go, leave them alone. What difference would it make? Its impossible for you to pick all these and put them back into the sea.” The young boy coolly picked up another starfish and replied to his friend, “Of course it makes a difference - to this fish”, and he threw it into the sea.

I believe, all will agree with me that the greatest challenge of today’s world is how to make the world a better place for all to live in peace and harmony. And the thing that I fear most is can we accomplish this in the midst of political and socio-economic injustice. Many a time as a social worker, I am placed in a position like the younger boy. They task looks so big. As I struggle with my work, there are questions that always hit me – am I making any change or difference or improvement? What have I accomplished? What difference would it make? To dream of changing the world completely to a better place for all and to put the chaos of the world in order would be like Karl Marx dreaming of “Utopia.” Yet to dream of brining hope to a few that surrounds us is not beyond our reach. What keeps me going or comforts me is that “little drops of water makes an ocean.” What I do may be small or may be invisible, but it does make a little difference to those lives.

Sisterhood Network (SN) is a small organization that began in May 2001 with an aim to empower less privileged and neglected women and girls in and around Dimapur in Nagaland. What brought me to SN is my dream of working with the poor, oppressed and downtrodden of society and also a desire to work with like minded people. SN’s center is in Dimapur district. Dimapur is a small town in Nagaland. It is the commercial center of the state. However, 70% of the business of run by non locals and there are few avenues for local people in business. There is the problem of a high rate of unemployment because majority of the population is dependent on the government for jobs. People no longer hold on to traditional values and virtues. There is corruption in almost all the institutions. Some use bribe to get a job. Dignity of work is disappearing among the younger generation. Most of them want easy money and opt for white-collar jobs. The spirit of tribalism is getting higher. Above, all, the tension between the Indian Government and the Naga local government (underground) is making the public insecure to live in their own land.

Against this background, there are many whose lives are marginalized and are ignorant. Among them women are the ones who suffer the most, since they are illiterate and dependent on their husband for their survival. They are confined to household activities, unaware of this rights and resources that are available from the government and other institutions. At SN, I was given the responsibility to look after the self-help groups (SHG). I did not know from where to start because this was a completely new task. Before joining SN, I was in teaching profession for 3 years. My work was confined to the classroom but now I have to go outside the wall to the women. It was a challenging task. No one gave me an orientation of what SHG is all about, neither was there any past record of the SHG to refer to. In the beginning, I had a hard time to relate and communicate to some SHGs because they could not understand Nagamese (conversion dialect) nor English, and neither did I understand their dialect. I took the help of interpreters and this made communication easier but I don’t know how far I understood them and their feelings.

One difficult task was to link the SHGs with the Bank. The bank was not receptive and tried to find fault in the documents that the women submitted. I had to accompany the SHGs every time they went to the bank and after several attempts, they were able to open their accounts at the bank. For loans, it was more difficult. We made several attempts together. The women nearly gave up and started accusing me for what has happened. I got irritated, yet I did not give up. I heard from some source that without bribing, it is impossible to get the loan from the bank and this was true. Some women were willing to bribe but I was able to convince them that such a practice is evil and we should fight against such corruption. Finally, I personally went to meet the Bank Manager and Field Officer convincing them that these are the groups that deserve to get the loan. After 6 months the loan was sanctioned. Another challenging task was how to sustain and maintain the SHGs.

Though several learning seminars and workshops were conducted on capacity building, two SHGs were defunct. As it is said that “experience is the best teacher” I have learnt that proper orientation should be given to the SHG during the formation of group, in which I have failed. It should be made clear right from the beginning that when our focus is only on economics and neglect the other aspects - social and spiritual - the results or rewards are one sided. The experience has also helped me to reflect and evaluate my own leadership skills. Another challenging task at SN is counseling the young girls. Most of them are school dro-outs who were doing nothing and have no avenues open to them, yet when they come to SN outwardly they look happy and content with their lives. However, as I sit, talk and listen to their stories, I come to know that most of them are confused and seeking some purpose and meaning in life. Some of them had unpleasant childhood experiences because they became orphans when they were very young or parents are divorced or they are from poor background and so had a very hard life. These girls lack self-confidence and self-esteem and have no motivation or interest to work for their livelihood.

My desire is to see these girls growing as mature, independent and responsible adults, but things do not always happen like we dream or wish. Some of these girls are very tough and very difficult to deal with. I try my best to release them from the prison of their past experience and to let them understand that there is more to life. In spite of my efforts, I could not see much change in them, but over the days and months I have learnt to accept them as they are by putting myself in their position. I have come to understand that I cannot change a person into a completely new being. Maybe, I can change his / her outward being but the real change should come from within the person.

Today as I reflect back I am reminded again that there is no short cut to success and that winners are the ones who do not do different things but they do things differently. As it is said “action speaks louder than words”. Maybe what I have told them did not make any sense to them, or may be I was too judgmental, pointing fingers at their weakness, or may be I was expecting too much from them. I do believe that the seed that I have planted today in them with love and care would one day grow and bring a difference to their lives. I am also comforted by knowing the fact that I am not alone in the struggle, but like minded people are in the same boat with me.